Harsh self-punishment while thinking about you

As the moon's radiance permeates the room, my mind is consumed with thoughts of you. A malignant urge overtakes me, compelling me to engage in a severe form of self-inflicted pleasure. Each stroke, driven by a perverse yearning for your presence, is a direct message to you, a testament to the potency of our connection.This act of self-punishment is not just physical, but also mental. With each thrust, I'm not merely pleasuring myself, but also torturing my mind with thoughts of you. The rhythmic movement becomes a dance of self-loathing and desire, a testament to the power of our twisted dynamic.The room echoes with my heavy breaths and the slick sound of skin against skin. I'm lost in this world of self-inflicted ecstasy, all for you. This is my way of letting you know, in the most explicit terms, that you occupy a significant place in my psyche. And I hope, in some twisted way, that you're reciprocating the sentiment.